If you do not know me enough or if you are part of my family, sometimes you may think I was pretending to be sick.
You may think that you may not be tired all the time or it is impossible for someone to live with constant pain and I wish that was the case and I, like many others, I had no experience for our family and our family. knowledge
Pretending to work well every day until the brutal torture and we can only meet half of our obligations swollen pills and painkillers, difficult to drag when I finally got home, we can not move or intense and unbearable pain and a painful exhaustion we never recovered.
But after all, I have no choice but to pretend to be good.
It’s so much easier to pretend and show me that things are going well because I do not have to defend myself this way. I do not have to explain to someone that life is possible in a constant and constant pain.
I do not have to go back to list the symptoms with someone who is not interested. I do not have to justify relentless fatigue. I do not have to explain why I did not go to the gym or the pool before. I’d like to go, but I’m not.
I do not quite understand why I think I should pretend to be good while the opposite happens. Why is the opinion of others so important? Why do not I care what they think?
I am tired, very tired of trying to explain how I really am, I explained to family and friends that I did not understand my everyday reality, even said that the doctors looked at me with disbelief and was asked “Say it is not possible.” symptoms.
A little yes, thank God, but not most and maybe that’s why I developed great skills as an actor in a role I never asked to touch me.
It is crazy, but sometimes I feel like a criminal who constantly being judged by people who know nothing about me or my life, and this world is better to pretend that those who barely know or do not know do not give you Tips you must do without having any idea or believe that it is better than I know how I am and what affects me or not.
Even if it costs me, I always try to be cool when someone asks me how I am. It’s a question that sometimes infuriates me because I can not tell the truth, but I stop and try to change the subject or try to solve it with a brief “I’m fine.”
I could say, “Today I can get out of bed without help” or “I did something better for a few days if the pain gave me a rest” or “This week is hell because I’m going through a crisis,”
But that would make me justify my situation again because I had to explain why I feel that way, and probably will not believe it, so the answer is never the truth.
I would like to stop pretending to feel good and show my true condition, I would like those who asked me to take a real interest in my condition and not see or hear, since others suspect that I am lying when I tell them. real
Do you have the need to pretend it’s okay if you’re not? Do you want to change that?
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